Writers: beware the 3 deadly itches

Everyone knows the seven deadly sins, right?

But only writers know the three deadly itches.

Behold...

I. QUERY ITCH

a. Premature A- I'm not really finished my manuscript, but it I'll probably get rejected anyway. OR if I don't, I'll just bang out the last chapter. Just getting my feet wet, you know?

b. Premature B- I'm bad at editing by myself. You know what I'm going to do? Get the agent to edit with me!


II. SHINY NEW IDEA ITCH

a. The Detour- Hello idea-that-I-abandoned-a-while-back aren't you looking fine and fresh?

b. The Tangent- I better just jot down some ideas about the SEQUEL because I'm definitely going to sell a multi-book deal and people are definitely going to beg me to continue the story.

Dreaming is allowed in moderation :D

III. MANUSCRIPTUS PERFECTUS ITCH

Sounds like a Harry Potter spell. Oh, how I wish it were.

a. I'm Sure Not Everyone Has To Edit: This particular one gets to me right after I finish the first draft (I spent half a year on this story and now I'm going to spend that same amount of time editing--what if the world ends by then?) AND when I should be editing but try to amuse myself in other ways ;)

b. Celebrate With Chocolate: Self explanatory. Many, many premature chocolate fests.

Disclaimer: Personal experience does not necessarily apply to the above. Writer may or may not have been affected by one or more of the itches.

That was part 1 of the post. Part 2 is here, where I confess that I DID succumb to evil itch 2a, the tangent. Here's how it happened. I was surfing the writer community last week when I realized that I had missed out on Cupid's Valentine* contest. Darn it! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE writing romance, LOVE writing kiss scenes, LOVE...

I'll wait for next year.

*contest was to submit a 300 word or less kiss scene

Anyway, I must have been sulking over this in the back of my mind as I was editing, which was not a good thing because I couldn't concentrate and I ended up writing this:

[Some background: This is me dabbling in book 2. The current MS is set from Sibyl's POV. Ashely (it can be a boy's name and yes, I will forever defend him :) ) is her love interest. I'm toying with the idea of making book 2 from Ashely's POV, if there will ever be a book 2 that is. This would not be a trilogy, just a two book package at most, so a second POV from the second most important character might work. Also, this is really short and not actually a kiss scene, so please forgive me.]


(make up whatever contest you so desire.)

The snow drifts around us in soft billows, flakes catching on her dark head. I blink away the ones that land on my lashes. “What is love, then?”

            Sibyl takes my hand. Her fingers tickle as they trace my palm.

            “A line,” she says, one finger stopping at the uppermost crease.

            “How is mine?”

            “Let’s see.” She brings my hand to her face and studies it. “You’ll love twice in your life,” she starts. “The first time, a pet. The second time, a human.”

            Her lips part to continue, but all that escapes is a puff of vapor.  “Maybe not a line,” Sibyl says at last. “Maybe a sound.”

            “What sort of sound?”

            She shrugs. “A note. A bird call. A laugh.”

           When I speak, my words also float on a cloud of white. “I know the sound.”

Her lips curl in a curious smile. “Tell me.”

I gesture for her to come closer, then whisper into her ear.

            “I love you.”

~

 Lalalalala let me know what you think! And excuse the horrendous tabs and formatting. And tell me what itches you the most when YOU write :)

SPAZZ: Editing

I just had a major spazz moment....

And it wasn't even to a request from a query (haven't send those out). I don't know what might happen if one of those ends up in my inbox. I might not be capable of typing a post, then. Heck, I was hardly capable of typing this post a minute ago because I do some really strange things when I'm really really really happy.

...Like the time I whole up the whole house at 3 AM when SAT scores  came out...

...oooor the time I found out I won a National Gold Medal for the Scholastic Art and Writing Award for a drawing of my good friend. I ran into the girls bathroom because I was laughing so hard that I had to pee and I ended up laughing in the stall, too, but that's okay because nobody was in the bathroom. At least I hope nobody was.

Now, I've just run 3 laps up and down the steps, done a bunch of jumping jacks, thrown myself on the couch, and laughed creepily. I really need to do something about the laughing. I don't think it's quite the right reaction of good news.

THE GIRL WITH THE GREEN PEN has agreed to help me crit my work! I had to send the dear dear Taryn samples of my writing because while I'm kind of in the situation of the POOR STUDENT, I knew the moment that I found her website that I would not hesitate to pay because I NEEDED HER WISDOM:

Because even though I'm the editor of the literary and art magazine at my school, I can't seem to do half as well a job on my own work.

Because I am a creature of momentum and editing kills my momentum and then I become majorly infected with a case of this is so bad! This needs surgery! I can't do surgery *shoves story into drawer*. 

That's what happened to MS #1.  Except I have a much better feeling about MS #2. Still, I don't quite trust myself to cut it open and not panic at the same time.

OK, so I really need to finish up my first pass now :D Tell me how you like to edit or if you prefer drafting to revising!

Nibbles for Thought

ON REALISTIC (BORING?) CHARACTERS:

I love perusing query-related blogs, so naturally I love Query Shark. This is the result of one of my searches:

"Real life rarely has a plot."

 -Query Shark (http://queryshark.blogspot.com/)

Reaction: :(

After a bout of sadness, I thought mulled over this quote, because truth be told I am a sucker for REAL LIFE because isn't quite as simple and lackluster as it seems (don't lie to me!). REAL LIFE is full of stories to be told and stories to relate to (Because don't all readers love it when they can click with the characters and their struggles? Please don't tell me you've ever had to engage in a televised fight to the death because that is really alarming).

There aren't many real life plots out there. There are YA contmeporaries that try to mimic real life but in the end don't quite succeed because the boys are kind-considerate-gorgeous/mythical-or-paranormal-creatures. Or the protagonists have special abilities. Or interesting stuff just happens in school. Or the adults are conveniently missing and teens actually have power. Or...you get my point.

Linked with un-REAL LIFE plots are un-REAL-LIFE characters. If the plot if going explode into a ball of flames, then the characters might as well be bad-ass enough to escape said fire or have special powers to conquer said fire. Mixing REAL LIFE characters with the un-REAL LIFE plot just doesn't....no, it just doesn't work.

 Like real life plots, there aren't enough real life characters out there. The first one I can think of on the top of my head is Holden Caufield and again, I hope that the majority of the normal population does not find itself in Holden-like situations.

Don't get me wrong--I adore the heroes and heroines of YA fiction. I love Percy and his demi-god awesomeness and Katniss with her berry guruness and Tris with her nine lives. The pitfall? Yes, I may be able to understand the fear of jumping off a ten story building. I mean, isn't fear just fear? Yes, I know fear. I KNOW what it feels like to fail a math test. The heart starts hammering, the palms start sweating, and the little voice goes off: oh no oh no oh no OH MY GOD. Flailing and spazzing ensues.

Ahem.

Let's go on a tangent here. Say I was a novel character. This would be on my character spreadsheet:
Female, 5'2, brown eyes, glasses, black hair. Likes to read, write, bake, draw. Incredibly bad at making on the spot decisions. Fear of heights. Fear of pain. Fear of dying. Fear of germs. Fear of bugs. Horrible balance--cannot stand on one foot. Life saving skills: none. Life saving knowledge: none. Good liar? Not really. Persuasive: eh. Supernatural powers: none. etc. etc. etc.

Now, I might be an extraodinary case of a useless, mundane, real life character, but you can see that there are little things that fictional characters take for granted. For example, running. I have a big thing about running in YA. I have not met a protagonist in a dystopian who is NOT good at running. Not just any running, but the running-for-your-life running-away-from-bad-guys. No YA character goes down because they get a cramp or fall. Also, another thing: 20/20 vision. I am literally blind without my glasses. I would actually run into a wall. Those exercises where there's a hypothetical house fire and you have to grab your five most important possessions? I have to waste one on glasses. Tell me if you know of a YA fantasy/dystopian/adventure protagonist whose Achilles heel is that they can't see (Simon from The Mortal Instruments does not count. He gets perfect vision after he's turned into a vampire.)

I myself am guilty of writing an UNREAL LIFE character for a semi-UNREAL LIFE plot. My MC is resourceful, a prodigy in interior design, and good at making deals. Granted, she's doesn't have the edge of physical or magical powers, but I've deliberately given her enough strengths so that she can play her role in a terror-filled plot and won't go splat at the inciting incident.

I want to make it clear that I do not think that any of the UNREAL LIFE characters are perfect by any means. They are flawed! They battle their own dilemmas and emotions!  That's why they are so fun to read about. But they are no where near flawed on the miniscule level as any REAL LIFE character would be.
 
What do you think? Do you find it harder to relate to characters who have unrealistic lives? Does it not matter to you if you can relate--is the story itself more important? Do you write real life characters in an unreal life plot, or do you find yourself giving your character the skills to play on your twisted game-board of a story?

Crazy things that writers do...

Issue #1

This is why my parents are afraid I'll develop some weird mental disorder called spending-too-much-time-with-imaginary-people-places-things-etc. :

 In which I forget how to think and have to google "What is the sausage part of the hot dog called" because for reasons I will not explain, I needed to write a scene where a man is grilling hot dogs in a food truck. Read?

In which I act like a psychopath and must google "How to reload a pistol". Yes, there is violence in WIP.  Read?

That's all for today! Let me know what crazy things you do in the glorious name of writing :D