2015 PitchWars Mentee Blog Hop: The Inspiration Behind HESPERIA

If you'd like to learn more about HESPERIA, here are some older posts on the MS:

-Nanowrimo Check-in #1 (where I talk about the conception of HESPERIA)

-Nanowrimo Check-in #2 (where you get to read an excerpt from draft #1)

-Post-Manuscript Completion Thoughts (where I get quite emotional over the roller-coaster that was the drafting process of HESPERIA)

-On Contests (where I talk about how HESPERIA fared in PitchSlam)

-Diversity in YA and my reservations (where I talk about the way I feature diversity in HESPERIA and how it doesn't really fit the conventional mold of "Asian characters")

This amazing art is by SansaXIX. Check out her profile for more.

As you can tell, this isn't the first time I'm talking about this MS on the blog, so I'll try to keep this post from becoming long-winded like all my other posts (and of course, I've probably jinxed myself by saying that). 

But yes, feel free to check out my other posts on the journey that this MS has been through.

Now to the point of this blog hop. HESPERIA, unlike some of my other MS's, didn't arise from a particular scene that I dreamed of or envisioned. Instead, I was very stuck in my other MS, THE SERENDIPITY LABS (description in my Novels tab). I took a break, during which I did a lot of knitting--finished my first scarf, in fact!--and Asian drama watching.

My favorite genre of Asian drama is wuxia, which basically translates into swords/historical/fantasy. And I especially love the dramas that have a bit of action but are grounded in political intrigue. Which means I loveeeee dramas set in the imperial palace, or during a particular dynasty. 

So I finished my 59 episode binge of Legend of Lu Zhen. It wasn't the greatest--there was a lot of petty drama between the different consorts and maids, which is meh--but I still enjoyed it. It got me thinking that I wished that there could be an China-inspired fantasy with the production values of, say, Game of Thrones. Because that would totally rock. There are so many inspiration-serving Chinese legends and classics and epics as a result of its enormous history. So many of those legends and classics (such as Water Margin, Dream of the Red Chamber, Journey to the West) are unaccessible to Western audiences, however, not because they haven't been translated, but I suspect because of cultural barriers. Plus, being classics, they aren't really...as palatable or easy to get into as YA fiction. I certainly haven't read those monsters--I've watched drama adaptations of them.

With the thought of something Asian inspired and something classical in my mind, an idea suddenly hit me. Why not take a really popular and pretty accessible Western novel in the classical canon, fantasify it, and give it an Asian twist? By the way, I thought I was sooo clever when I thought of doing a "retelling" of a classic, since there were so many fairytale retellings out there but not as many classic retellings (other than Shakespeare ones and Jane Austen ones). Well turns out I'm not so clever because as HuffPost shows, classic retellings are going to be a big thing in 2016. 

*weeps*

(I see now how my posts grow so long-winded)

Anyway, I settled on To Kill a Mockingbird because I really enjoyed the themes of the book and how they were delivered so innocently and simply. The court scene chapters were also some of my favorites to ever read in any classic, and I thought it'd be really cool to incorporate them in a fantasy setting and infuse them with political intrigue.

And the rest is history.

I'd say that the themes in HESPERIA are pretty clear, and you can probably tell the TKAM influence if you read it. For example, Hesperia's prejudice and discrimination toward her half-brother Roon serve to represent a microcosm of the prejudice and discrimination rampant in the book against the seers and magicians. It's only when she starts realizing that people only discriminate because of their own insecurities (in the case of Hesperia, the friction between her blood-brother and not being loved by her own mother. For the people of the kingdom, it's insecurity about their safety and peace) that she is able start to overcome her prejudice toward the seers and magicians.

There are some pretty crucial parts of the trials that mirror the trials in TKAM.

And if you pay attention to some of the characters, you'll see that some have been inspired by characters in TKAM (namely Roon and the Damalee = Boo Radley, Warnick = Tom Robinson).

Okay, I'm done! Didn't mean for that to turn into an analysis of literature. Many of my blog readers are people who've stuck with me through thick and thin, and so hopefully this is sort of interesting to you, especially if you've read the MS :)

Check out the rest of the Mentees' posts here. 

Post-Manuscript-Completion Thoughts (HESPERIA)

This is VERY overdue. Like, five months overdue. But I remembered that I had a post like this for my NA contemporary IF LIFE WERE FAIR, and I think it's a nice thing, being able to read back on your thoughts about a manuscript.

So here we go. Here are my post-manuscription-completion thoughts for HESPERIA, my YA Fantasy.

Some stats:

Started: sometime around November of 2013
First draft completed: November 2014
Number of times dropped: beyond what I can count

Back when I wrote this post for ILWF, my manuscript numbering system was already starting to get slightly unruly. I considered ILWF my third manuscript completed ever, but I also considered it my second manuscript completed with the goal of publication in mind (as I've mentioned elsewhere, I sent out one query for MS #1 completed ever before realizing that the MS just wasn't anywhere near publishable). So what is HESPERIA, now? MS #4? Or MS #3?

I think I'm going to stop referring to my novels by the numbering system. Maybe every now and then, I'll refer to HESPERIA as my fourth MS ever, but it's starting to get a little hard to keep track of, especially when I think about how I began this journey of mine wondering if I would even be able to churn out a second, let alone a fourth, completed novel.

HESPERIA was definitely a hard one to write. Stylistically, it was different. I hadn't written in first person past in a while, and switching away from the present tense to the past was a bigger transition than I expected. I really believe that the tense you write a novel in makes a big deal. It just gives the story a different feeling, and while I knew I wanted to give first person past a serious try, I wasn't quite sure. Even when I've gotten to chapter 20, I was still playing around with the idea of switching the tense and person-narration of the whole thing. I wrote some chapters in first person present. I even wrote some chapters in third person past. Ultimately, my initial choice--first person past--was the one I stuck with, and I am glad I did because it's one of the things that sets HESPERIA apart from my other novels in feel and means of narration.

Plot-wise, I believe it was more complex that anything else than I've written so far. I'm a very loose outliner, so while I knew there were going to be twists, I didn't expect twist after twist to pop up. There were times where I'd just be on the treadmill in the gym (hah! The days when I still exercised...) and I'd start thinking about how a twist was going to work out, how to even build up to that twist so that it wouldn't seem like I was waving my writerly wand and slapping you in the face. I started to listen to my writing playlist on repeat while doing my miles, just so that I could think about my plot in a better ambience (like, to the sound of epic Two Steps From Hell music rather than the usual gym-sounds of dying people, including myself).

Character-wise, it initially had one of the largest casts I'd ever tackled. Through the drafts, some characters have gotten cut here and there, but there are still a large number of characters, and not just ones that I name-drop or introduce in a couple scenes (as was the case of INGENICIDE and ILWF). No, most of these characters had their own backstories and they wove in and out of the narrative. At the same time, I got really attached to all my characters, which is a surprise. Normally, I'm very attached to my main character and the love interest, and maybe a side character or two. But this time around, I just knew so much about my side characters that I couldn't help but root for them, too.

Luckily, the world came pretty easily to me. I was very inspired by Chinese stories and legends, and Deviantart also provided a lot of the artwork that inspired my visions of the setting.

Mechanical struggles of writing aside, my drafting of HESPERIA came at a time in my life when a lot of things were changing for me. Thus, I had a lot of dry spells, and there were times when I seriously wondered if I'd ever be able to finish the novel. I loved the story and the characters, but as you've seen, it was one of the hardest novels I've attempted to write, and that didn't help how I was generally having a tough time writing. Even when the mood struck, it wasn't one of those stories where I could randomly plant my butt in a chair and write for an hour. It required a lot of thinking and just figuring out how things were going to pan out.

That's why at one full year, it's the novel that has taken the longest to write (and it's also my longest novel, with draft 3 clocking in at 96k). At the same time, I venture to say that it's also one of my cleaner drafts in terms of character development and *most* plot elements. I still had to do some heavy revisions in parts, but overall, I came out of draft #1 pretty satisfied with Hesperia's character arc and her interactions with other characters. Lack of satisfaction in this area factored into my decision to pull ILWF from the query trenches, so I was pretty scared that was going to happen again.

And something else I've noticed? I've improved as a writer. After four novels, this might come as a given, but it's taken a long time for me to accept. I'm with my writing every day, and just like it's hard to notice changes in yourself until someone who hasn't seen you in a while comments, it's hard for me to see sometimes how I'm gradually getting better.

But I am. In a way, HESPERIA was sort of a turning point for me--I've never given up on a novel that I've seriously committed to in terms of finishing, but this one time I found myself on a precipice. I didn't fall, and now I'm ready to tackle my fifth novel.

*Thinking about HESPERIA makes me sort of sentimental. It really couldn't have happened without the support I've received from all my writerly friends. Thank you, Rivka and Deborah, for taking the time to read some of the rougher stuff and being excited about the work. Thank you, Molly, for honing it into the draft that it is today. Thank you to the boyfriend who didn't run off in fright when I asked him if he could  read the rough manuscript to me aloud (and thanks for putting up with all those conversations regarding the novel).  

And lastly, thank you, Anne, for sticking with the story despite the month's of silence and being the kindest, most generous cheerleader you are. I churned out some of those chapters thinking this might be the last--I can't write another, but then you would demand more, and I really couldn't turn you down.

With that, I'll finish with some of the art that inspired some of the scenes in the novel:

by Fel-X

by pictsy

by TylerEdlinArt

by JJcanvas

by Exphrasis

Retreat From the Query Trenches--Round 1

If you've been following this blog, then you probably remember me dropping the name of my second completed manuscript every now and then. INGENICIDE, a YA light scifi (and yes, you can find all the info under my NOVELS tab :) ) was my savior. Seriously. I procrastinated from highly stressful real life activities to write it. I thought about it every second of the day. I dreamed about it. I'm pretty sure I annoyed the crap out of my friends talking about it.

INGENICIDE was also my teacher. It taught me how to revise (MS#1 couldn't and is still gathering dust in the drawer). It urged me to find critique partners. It pushed me into the critique forums, to revise, revise, revise my query. And revise again.

Yes, it forced me to write the dreaded synopsis. Post on that later, because oh do I loathe the synopsis.

Just last week, I received a rejection on a full that I was feeling sort of good on. Which is okay, because that's happened before and I was prepared. I closed the email and marched right to QueryTracker to prepare another round of queries. Apparently, I cope with rejections by sending more queries.

I can't use QueryTracker without Carissa Taylor's handy dandy compilation of YA agents, so I pulled that up, too. As I was marking down agents and heading over to websites, I suddenly realized something:

I was no longer excited to query.

That may not sound weird, but it was to me. I wouldn't say that querying is fun, exactly, but it is exciting and exhilarating and nerve-wracking to do so. I liked querying. And now I didn't.

Why wasn't I excited? I tried to find the reason.

It turns out that I'd exhausted my list of agents that I'd love to work with and was beginning to just "settle." The search process was becoming increasingly like this: Agent reps YA? Onto the list. 

At first, I didn't see anything wrong with this. In fact, I was more scared of not querying every single agent that I possibly could, in case I missed some opportunity. But sitting there at my desk and staring at the agent compilation list, it dawned on me that I'm NOT just seeking representation for INGENICIDE. I'm seeking representation for myself as an author. I'm seeking representation for this work and many more to come.

I couldn't just "settle."

So now I announce my decision: I will be retreating with INGENICIDE from the querying trenches. Currently, I still have queries, partials, and fulls out, and I will wait to hear back on those. However, I will not be actively querying anymore for this manuscript. If you were curious, here are my stats:

79 queries

4 partials

5 fulls

And more rejections than I can count. 

While this may seem like a sad post, it really isn't. MS#1 was my training wheels. MS#2 was the bike that took me on many adventures and taught me so many lessons. Ultimately, it didn't deposit me at my destination, but what does that matter? If anything, I'm now armed with experiences that not even rejection can take away from me.

On another positive note, I wrote IF LIFE WERE FAIR while querying INGENICIDE so that my inbox wouldn't drive me insane. Turns out that insanity prevention methods are quite rewarding because now I can prepare to dive back into the trenches soon. If I had to choose ONE piece of advice from this whole learning process, it is this: Write. And keep writing. Write when you are querying, because it'll really make the time fly by faster and at the end, you'll have a brand new MS to flourish (before getting dirty in revisions, that is). You are a writer before you are an author. 

Have you ever had to "shelve" a novel and if so, what made you decide to? Thanks for reading guys! It's funny thinking back to when I first started this blog, when INGENICIDE was still fresh off my fingers. I say this again and again, but the writing community is seriously the best of the best of the creative folks. 

Call for readers (and I will accept my limits)

***BEFORE YOU READ, DISCLAIMER!!! I am not breaking up with any existing or pre-promised partnerships. So no fear!***

Back when I was young and editing INGENICIDE (haha, just kidding!), I honestly wondered how the heck was I supposed to get people to read my MS? Therefore, whenever anyone offered, it felt just as exhilarating as...getting a full request. So in order to show my appreciation, I'd offer to swap, because why should I expect someone to read my MS without giving something back in return?

Slowly, it's beginning to dawn on me that I can't do that anymore. Between life, reading the works of my critique group, writing my own stuff, and trying to catch up on those MS's that I'd promised to crit, I have to come out honestly and say that I've bitten off more than I can chew. As much as I try to be an infallible, generous critter, I've realized that I can't continue to let this image get in the way of my actual abilities. Not only is that stressful for me (because I want to be able to read all the MS's in the world and I want to crit every single one), more importantly it's not fair to those whom I have promised a critique swap, who have to wait months and months without any feedback.

No longer can I promise to keep to the critique for a critique system. And I apologize profusely for that. I wish that I didn't have these limits because I owe so much to each and every person who takes the time to read my writing. Because without all of you, I wouldn't have improved as much as I have.

Because of my respect for all of you, I can't keep on overestimating the extent of my abilities.

Thinking all of this through has helped me come to terms with the fact that I can't maintain a critique partnership with everyone (although I'd really, really love to), that I have to accept the fact that there are simply readers out there who just want to enjoy the MS and do not expect a critique in return.

And so I now I post my call for all beta readers interested in reading and providing oh-so-helpful feedback on the second pass of my newly finished MS, IF LIFE WERE FAIR.

Genre: Upper YA/NA Contemporary (with medium romantic element)
Word Count: 58,000
Status: Complete--version 2
Query:

Idle from her gap year before college and cynical from running the hamster wheel of binge eating and exercising, eighteen-year-old Bernie Lisel receives an ultimatum from her mother: get a job or lose the credit card. 

Easier said than done.

Waitressing at the fancy French bistro in Manhattan is just what Bernie doesn’t need on her plate. But in the name of money to supply her binges, she’ll take it. Even if that means installing an edit button on her perpetually snarking mouth and trying not to mix up vanilla cream and tartar sauce. Gradually, Bernie learns the ropes and begins to bond with a crew of optimistic and quirky coworkers. And then there’s Luke Wells, assistant chef and a sophomore at Columbia. Selfless and diligent to a fault, he might also be the best listener to people's problems in the entire universe. Perhaps that’s why Bernie feels equal parts exposed and guarded around him.

But when Luke is diagnosed with stage III stomach cancer and refuses treatment, Bernie suddenly discovers that she’s not the only one with a secret to keep. Putting aside her eating disorder to help Luke with a turbulent family past, she orchestrates a journey to his home state of Montana. As the 2,400 miles whittle down, the last question on Bernie’s mind is of her own recovery. She only wonders if she can accomplish for Luke what she never could for herself—breaking the self-fulfilling cycle of resignation.

If you are interested, please comment with your email OR email me at joanart6 AT gmail DOT com. And if I haven't said this already, seriously, you guys are the best. I'm sorry for this being such a downer post. If you do decide that you'd like to be a beta for ILWF, I really appreciate it. I completely understand how busy everyone is, which is why the writing community continues to surprise me with its awesomeness. 

Post-manuscript completion thoughts

After two months of flying through the beginning, waddling around the sticky middle, and sprinting full-speed to the finish line, I have finally completed MS #3!!* For the super rough blurb, check out the my NOVELS tab and scroll to IF LIFE WERE FAIR. 

This was me post-completion. Don't you love my alter persona? 

I had a lot of fun writing this one because the main character had a very strong personality and naturally I spent a lot of time in her head as the novel is from first person POV. Surprisingly, the the writing process was different from MS #2, INGENICIDE. I know you're thinking well, Joan, you're writing a different novel for one, not to mention in a different genre. Of course the process is going to be different. And I understand that, but at the same time I had thought that the overall feel would be more or less the same, given the method I used for INGENICIDE was successful, as in I actually finished it and thought to myself: hey, this doesn't suck too badly!

Now in retrospect, I can see how writing IF LIFE WERE FAIR turned out to be a different experience than INGENICIDE. Firstly, I wrote INGENICIDE (65k) over the course of four months at the pace of a consistent plod. That means I had more time to afford non-writing days, days when I'd wait for some inspiration to strike (guilty!). In contrast, IF LIFE WERE FAIR (58k) is the product of a two month writing frenzy (which is still is far from the Nano pace, but it was a lot of me--I'm a slowish worker :). Why? Well, I still feel kind of sad for missing the dystopian bandwagon for INGENICIDE  so this me trying to catch the wagon for upper YA/NA before I miss it and fall face-flat in the dust.** But that's beside the point. The point is that I didn't have the luxury of losing too many writing days with IF LIFE WERE FAIR.  Which is probably why there were points in the story where I practically had to force myself to muscle through, not so much because they boring, but because I only have so much juice in me for a day. I've always been able to squeeze out some juice, but this was wringing. 

Secondly, I wrote in a completely different style for IF LIFE WERE FAIR as compared to INGENICIDE.  My CP's noticed this, and I, too, was aware. Bernadette, the MC in IF LIFE WERE FAIR has a lot of emotional baggage and is trying to rescue a personality that has been warped by her eating disorder. As a result, the syntax, word choice, and tone of every sentence in IF LIFE WERE FAIR were stark contrasts to the minimalistic and artistic voice of Sibyl, the MC from INGENICIDE. I had no idea how much this would influence the writing process! There were days when Bernie, oh-so-moody, just wouldn't speak to me. 

And lastly, writing the ending to IF LIFE WERE FAIR was just as exhilarating, but more taxing, than writing the ending to INGENICIDE  This is probably due to the fact that I worked myself into a last leg writing sprint and whipped out 8k in one night. The emotional impact of watching all of the story simmer down before my eyes in the matter of hours was unbelievably thrilling and sad.*** The reason why I was able to write this much at once for the end of IF LIFE WERE FAIR and not for INGENICIDE is because I had a clear idea of how I wanted IF LIFE WERE FAIR to end even before the halfway point of the story. That made the road leading up to the finale much easier to navigate.

All in all, writing IF LIFE WERE FAIR was neither easier nor harder than writing INGENICIDE, even though I had more experience under my belt. Regardless, I had a blast watching my characters come to life and weaving a theme and voice throughout the novel. Currently, I'm letting it rest for a bit before diving into revisions. Meanwhile, I'm so excited to start on this shiny new idea that popped to me during the sticky middle of IF LIFE WERE FAIR  A post will be up for that soon, and I'll be adding it to the NOVELS tab.

For those of you who have written more than one MS, did you find the general "writing experience" changed (outside of genre related differences) from one MS to the other? 

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*I think I might have carpal tunnel? I have an ache going from my right pinky down the side of my palm?!

**I don't believe in write the next trend. I DO believe in timing. If it just so happens that what you are currently writing might be garnering interest in the publishing world, well, why not try to seize the opportunity?

***I went to bed at 2AM and couldn't fall asleep for an hour because my head was buzzing with the story-residue. Plus, it was thundering like the end of the world. I had planned to brew myself a massive cup of coffee the next morning, but we lost power :( Needless to say, I was a zombie for the rest of the day until my awesome friend supplied me with chocolate and gingersnaps. Who says sugar isn't a remedy?