October: Pitch Wars and a month in review

Many a time during October, I imagined myself writing this post. How triumphant I would feel, knowing that I had survived.

And now I finally get to write it! Albeit sick. But I have my tumbler of warm liquids close by and fuzzy socks on, so it's not too bad. 

So if you've read this post, then you know that October was off the crazy charts. I was college counseling three students who are not native English speakers. I had to comprehensively + line-edit all their essays. It was fun but, as you can probably imagine, quite a bit of work. I also had college going on the in background, and the usual onslaught of readings and exams.

And then I had Pitch Wars.

I've heard about various revision experiences, from getting a few line edits to changing the POV entirely to tearing out sections and rewriting. I'll be upfront and say that I did not have to rewrite my book, and so I guess I could have had it worse in terms of work-load. My biggest/hardest edit was increasing the tension and pacing in the beginning.  

At the same time, I am a notoriously slow reviser. First, I take a lot of time to mull over solutions. Then I take a lot of time to implement them because I mull over word choice and other nit-gritty things like that. I am also a slower drafter. Basically, I am slow at everything.

So despite the comparatively "smaller" revision, I ended up slaving over it. 

Going into October, I realized that I had all of this on my plate. And since I like placing a lot of stress on myself, I resolved that I would not let anything slide. I would give my kids all the counseling that they needed. I would get the grades I wanted. I would complete PW to my satisfaction.

And now I'm glad to say that I kept my promise to myself!

(With the exception of one exam that I'm pretty sure I did not do so hot on, but that was an early November exam, so not officially part of the October crazies).

I think the key to staying somewhat sane (the bf would argue otherwise and say that I was not sane at all) is to remember to do the little things. For example, I rarely paint my nails during the summer, but come fall and winter, there's just something satisfying about having nice nails to go with my sweaters. So despite not having that much time, I tried to take a little time for myself every other week to paint my nails. I even got some new Essie colors to inspire me!

That might sound like something really small, and I agree it was. I had to give up some bigger things. My fall break is one example. While my roommates from Texas and New Jersey all left to go home for their fall break, I stayed at my dorm for the majority of it even though I live twenty minutes away. I decided to use that quiet time to work on revisions, and I'm glad to say that I got a lot done during those days! When everyone returned, refreshed, I was anything but refreshed, but sometimes you can't have everything (even I recognize that). 

But the thing about giving things up to accomplish something is to make sure that you then celebrate your accomplishment. I fall victim to getting swept into the frenzy of everything and not truly savoring my accomplishments. This time I was determined so carve out some time and not fall into that habit. 

So three of my good friends and I went to Linvilla Orchards for apple picking. This is the place that I used to go to for my birthday as a kid. It's been years since I last went. 

I actually didn't end up picking/buying any apples, but it was still incredibly fun. We all went out to dinner afterwards, and then I splurged on some fancy tea. 

In the end, was it a rough month? Yes, it was. Probably the roughest month of all time. But was it worth it? Yes, a thousand times.

And I couldn't have done it without the support of all the various people in my life. Thank you to:

- My parents, who realized that I wasn't eating as well as I should have. My mom, who works close to my college campus, took me out to lunch many a time during the month. She also read through the first 50 of HESPERIA again when I asked her to evaluate the changes. 

- My CP's Molly, Laura, Anne, and Deb. Some of you have read HESPERIA as I was writing it, some have read later drafts, but no matter what time of the MS I found you at, you have all helped it grow so much. 

- My fellow writer friends who have been so supportive on fb and twitter.

- My biffles Sean and Cindy, who remind me to have fun even when I'm all grumpy and convinced that there is no time for fun. 

- The Pitch Wars mentee community. You guys are the bomb. I'm neither the most social person ever nor the person who posts the wittiest and funniest posts, and so sometimes I find fb groups intimidating, but I'm so, so glad that this community is one that I feel like I'll turn to for a longgggg time. Thanks for all the hugfests, guys :)

- My mentor Mara, who literally opened this golden door of opportunity for me. Her fierce championing of the manuscript still blows me away sometimes, and I still have to pinch myself to believe it's real. Without her, this post wouldn't exist. Without her, I wouldn't have had the chance to go on this journey of my life. So thank you. Thank you.

- And lastly, the bf I've mentioned before. He's worn many hats for me--beta reader, idea brainstormer, restaurant exploring partner, cheerleader, and best hug-giver. We just celebrated 1.5 years together today, so he's really had a chance to see all the scary that is involved in the journey of a writer seeking publication.

Luckily, I haven't scared him away yet :D

How was your October?

Post-Manuscript-Completion Thoughts (HESPERIA)

This is VERY overdue. Like, five months overdue. But I remembered that I had a post like this for my NA contemporary IF LIFE WERE FAIR, and I think it's a nice thing, being able to read back on your thoughts about a manuscript.

So here we go. Here are my post-manuscription-completion thoughts for HESPERIA, my YA Fantasy.

Some stats:

Started: sometime around November of 2013
First draft completed: November 2014
Number of times dropped: beyond what I can count

Back when I wrote this post for ILWF, my manuscript numbering system was already starting to get slightly unruly. I considered ILWF my third manuscript completed ever, but I also considered it my second manuscript completed with the goal of publication in mind (as I've mentioned elsewhere, I sent out one query for MS #1 completed ever before realizing that the MS just wasn't anywhere near publishable). So what is HESPERIA, now? MS #4? Or MS #3?

I think I'm going to stop referring to my novels by the numbering system. Maybe every now and then, I'll refer to HESPERIA as my fourth MS ever, but it's starting to get a little hard to keep track of, especially when I think about how I began this journey of mine wondering if I would even be able to churn out a second, let alone a fourth, completed novel.

HESPERIA was definitely a hard one to write. Stylistically, it was different. I hadn't written in first person past in a while, and switching away from the present tense to the past was a bigger transition than I expected. I really believe that the tense you write a novel in makes a big deal. It just gives the story a different feeling, and while I knew I wanted to give first person past a serious try, I wasn't quite sure. Even when I've gotten to chapter 20, I was still playing around with the idea of switching the tense and person-narration of the whole thing. I wrote some chapters in first person present. I even wrote some chapters in third person past. Ultimately, my initial choice--first person past--was the one I stuck with, and I am glad I did because it's one of the things that sets HESPERIA apart from my other novels in feel and means of narration.

Plot-wise, I believe it was more complex that anything else than I've written so far. I'm a very loose outliner, so while I knew there were going to be twists, I didn't expect twist after twist to pop up. There were times where I'd just be on the treadmill in the gym (hah! The days when I still exercised...) and I'd start thinking about how a twist was going to work out, how to even build up to that twist so that it wouldn't seem like I was waving my writerly wand and slapping you in the face. I started to listen to my writing playlist on repeat while doing my miles, just so that I could think about my plot in a better ambience (like, to the sound of epic Two Steps From Hell music rather than the usual gym-sounds of dying people, including myself).

Character-wise, it initially had one of the largest casts I'd ever tackled. Through the drafts, some characters have gotten cut here and there, but there are still a large number of characters, and not just ones that I name-drop or introduce in a couple scenes (as was the case of INGENICIDE and ILWF). No, most of these characters had their own backstories and they wove in and out of the narrative. At the same time, I got really attached to all my characters, which is a surprise. Normally, I'm very attached to my main character and the love interest, and maybe a side character or two. But this time around, I just knew so much about my side characters that I couldn't help but root for them, too.

Luckily, the world came pretty easily to me. I was very inspired by Chinese stories and legends, and Deviantart also provided a lot of the artwork that inspired my visions of the setting.

Mechanical struggles of writing aside, my drafting of HESPERIA came at a time in my life when a lot of things were changing for me. Thus, I had a lot of dry spells, and there were times when I seriously wondered if I'd ever be able to finish the novel. I loved the story and the characters, but as you've seen, it was one of the hardest novels I've attempted to write, and that didn't help how I was generally having a tough time writing. Even when the mood struck, it wasn't one of those stories where I could randomly plant my butt in a chair and write for an hour. It required a lot of thinking and just figuring out how things were going to pan out.

That's why at one full year, it's the novel that has taken the longest to write (and it's also my longest novel, with draft 3 clocking in at 96k). At the same time, I venture to say that it's also one of my cleaner drafts in terms of character development and *most* plot elements. I still had to do some heavy revisions in parts, but overall, I came out of draft #1 pretty satisfied with Hesperia's character arc and her interactions with other characters. Lack of satisfaction in this area factored into my decision to pull ILWF from the query trenches, so I was pretty scared that was going to happen again.

And something else I've noticed? I've improved as a writer. After four novels, this might come as a given, but it's taken a long time for me to accept. I'm with my writing every day, and just like it's hard to notice changes in yourself until someone who hasn't seen you in a while comments, it's hard for me to see sometimes how I'm gradually getting better.

But I am. In a way, HESPERIA was sort of a turning point for me--I've never given up on a novel that I've seriously committed to in terms of finishing, but this one time I found myself on a precipice. I didn't fall, and now I'm ready to tackle my fifth novel.

*Thinking about HESPERIA makes me sort of sentimental. It really couldn't have happened without the support I've received from all my writerly friends. Thank you, Rivka and Deborah, for taking the time to read some of the rougher stuff and being excited about the work. Thank you, Molly, for honing it into the draft that it is today. Thank you to the boyfriend who didn't run off in fright when I asked him if he could  read the rough manuscript to me aloud (and thanks for putting up with all those conversations regarding the novel).  

And lastly, thank you, Anne, for sticking with the story despite the month's of silence and being the kindest, most generous cheerleader you are. I churned out some of those chapters thinking this might be the last--I can't write another, but then you would demand more, and I really couldn't turn you down.

With that, I'll finish with some of the art that inspired some of the scenes in the novel:

by Fel-X

by pictsy

by TylerEdlinArt

by JJcanvas

by Exphrasis