2016: A Year in Review

For many, I know that 2016 was a year of more downs than ups. The reverse may also be true. I can't speak for everyone, only myself. So I'm going to outline my year by focusing on the personal events (as we all know what went down in November :( ).

2016: A Year in Review

January

• signed with my super-agent
• visited Harry Potter World and bought a chocolate frog
• finished writing my 5th manuscript, THE FINAL BRILLIANCY, which clocked in at 71k
• registered for my first ever Creative Writing course (!)
• also registered in a second semester of Chinese Language 

February 

• caught an extremely bad cold
• fell down a revision hole

March

• still lived in the revision hole

April

• climbed out of the revision hole!
• attacked by a bunch of shiny new story ideas. Saved for later

May

• honestly don't know what happened. Passed like a dream. Somehow earned a second semester of straight A's. Remembered to celebrate the academic successes
• decided to return to Taiwan for a second year of teaching the SATs (never escaping them :') )
• experienced a lot of heartburn :(

June

• still experiencing heartburn
• broke my phone two weeks into Taiwan (a first, and a last, I hope)
• still managed to take the MRT in the wrong direction
• tried to write, and failed
• ate an unhealthy amount of pizza. Who knew pizza in Taiwan was so good
• caught ANOTHER extremely bad cold. In fact, pretty sure it was the flu. Everything ached, including my teeth. Did a meet and greet with my students while I could barely breathe

July

• still living the phoneless life
• tried to write, and actually wrote in Starbucks, my true love. 13k.
• watched my first horror with my students
• watched Steins;Gate, and the recommendation of a student 
• consumed more teppanyaki than I'm proud of

August

• said goodbye to my students :(
• returned from Taiwan and made a resolution to stop getting sick as often. Started to work out, aiming 4/7 days a week
• also made a resolution to eat healthier :')
• registered for a THIRD semester of Chinese Language
• registered for my first Chinese History Course
• mentoring in PW!

September

• still working out, and 5/7 days a week
• tried to buckle down into writing
• school. ack
• living with the dream roommates
• watched my first Korean drama. Don't let me do it again. It's bad for me 
• still mentoring in PW!

October

• STILL working out. Somehow
• STILL school. ack
• existential crisis
• considered grad school
• tried not to think about grad school
• remembered that I'm now a junior
• turned 20; celebrated with friends. Probably my one social event of the semester
• stayed in the dorms during Fall Break to write
• more PW mentoring!

November

• pinch me but STILL WORKING OUT?!
• Still school x.x
• dream roommate gets into study-abroad for spring semester :D D':
• stayed in the dorms over Thanksgiving break to write (did go home for Thanksgiving dinner)
• registered for a FOURTH semester of Chinese language
• Started watching WESTWORLD and holy. Moly. 
• PITCHWARS MENTEE GETS OFFER!

December

• is this working out thing here to stay???
• said farewell to the dream roommate
• straight A semester #3 but school is still ack. 
• started reading my first Chinese book and basically googletranslating every other word, but PROGRESS
• STAYING IN THE DORMS TO WRITE OVER WINTER BREAK WOOOO!!! Actually though, it's good for productivity. But creepy. Probably won't do again, but still. 

Highlights: Writing. Teaching in Taiwan. Getting heath...ier. Re-charged the creative well with a lot of amazing shows. 

Could be better: Probably too much writing at the cost of a social life (or life in general). My goal in 2017 is to try to spend as much time as a hermit possibly can with friends and loved ones. 

Here's to 2017! I'd love to hear about your year/what you're looking forward to in the coming one!  

Pitchwars 101: The First Chapter

If you're anything like me, you stay on the fence about everything until the very last possible minute. This series of short, last minute posts will hopefully be helpful to anyone still unsure about the contest itself, the query, the first chapter, and the synopsis.

Check out the previous parts of the series:

Pitchwars 101: An Overview

Pitchwars 101: The Query

The First Chapter Checklist:

• Is your first line the best that it can be?
• What more, is your first line representative of the rest of the book? Do you establish your style from the start?
• Are you giving enough description of surroundings to ground your reader?
• Do you avoid over-describing and overwhelming the reader?
• Are you avoiding weak descriptors? Do you use cliched words/phrases? Do you use two average words to illustrate something when you could use one, vivid word?
• Are you introducing too many named/major characters at once? If so, avoid.
• Are you starting in a place that draws the reader in? 
• Don't interpret this as you must start with a chase/explosion/fight. This is cliche if it's not suited for your book. If your story is more character driven/quieter, then don't start with an explosion if it doesn't make sense to have an explosion! This is an extreme example, but hopefully you get what I mean.
• Is the length about the same as the length of your other chapters? If not (significantly longer/shorter), is there a reason for this, or could your first chapter actually be split into two chapters, or is it lacking?
• Do we get a good initial feel for your character's personality?
• Is this done through showing and not telling? As in, if your character is brave, have the first chapter involve her doing something brave instead of telling us outright. A lot of times, I find that writers use "voice" to mask straight up telling. Just because your character is hilarious and snarky and has a lot to say doesn't mean you can spoon-feed the reader a lot of disguised telling. We can tell!
• Is the ending representative? If it ends on a killer cliff-hanger, is that something that reappears throughout your book? If it ends on a more final note, is that the general style of your chapter endings?

As you can tell, I toss out the word "representative" a lot. This is because I've read a lot of first chapters. I've read a lot of first chapters, and then gone on to read more of the book. I've also written a lot of first chapters. And I know every writer is bombarded again and again with the reminder that your first chapter has to hook the reader.

This advice can result in a lot of amazing first chapters, but it results in a lot of "fake" first chapters other times (especially when it comes to contest chapters!). By this I mean that it's very obvious that the first chapter is trying to hook you, but if the first chapter is a promise of some sorts (of what the rest of the book is going to deliver), then the rest of the book must keep that promise. If not, the disappointment is crushing and ruins my enjoyment of the book. 

SO. Write an interesting first chapter, but above all, write a first chapter that is true to your book. 

Hope this was helpful! As always, if you have any questions, you can ask me on twitter. Stay tuned for the final post--the synopsis!

Pitchwars 101: The Query

If you're anything like me, you stay on the fence about everything until the very last possible minute. This series of short, last minute posts will hopefully be helpful to anyone still unsure about the contest itself, the query, the first chapter, and the synopsis.

Check out my previous post in the Pitchwars 101 Series: An Overview

• The query at a glance:
• A simple introduction is fine and actually preferred. Address the person you're querying properly, and then jump right into the body of the query, unless you're personalizing.
• The body (the part where you talk about the story) of your query should be about 2-4 paragraphs. One giant paragraph is off-putting, and more than four, major paragraphs makes your query look like a synopsis
• A query and a synopsis are different! The query should read like a back-cover blurb on a book, whereas the synopsis reads more like cliffnotes/a wikipedia page. 
• After the body, there should be a mini paragraph where you share your word count, your genre + age category, and your comp titles (usually two). 
• Try to keep at least one of your comp titles as recent as possible
• Try to avoid using the cliched comp titles (e.g. Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, etc.)
• Word count should be rounded to the nearest thousandth. 
• After this mini paragraph comes your bio paragraph. If your bio doesn't have too much of a tie-in with your book (e.g. you're a curator at a museum, and your book is about museums), err on the side of keeping it short.
• All in all, you really want the body portion to shine, and then just make sure that you have your other components and that all the info is accurate (e.g. don't lie about your word count)
• The body of the query:
• Establish your world without being overwhelming or confusing. Drop some specific details that can immedaitely give the reader a flavor of your setting, but don't have too many of these details, or go overboard, and save the more complex elements for the actual book
• Establish the main arc of your plot, and enrich with a line or two about a subplot. The main arc of your plot should be very visible and be the main driver behind the tension and stakes.
• TENSION! STAKES! Lack of these two is my most often given crit. But don't kill it with vague, generic statements that are all too common. "She must save the world"/"She must do X, or die" is not enough on its own. Infuse these statements with the flavor of your characters and plot. They're so popular because they do work, but only when they're unique. 
• The tone of the body should match the tone of your book. Serious book? Try to keep the voice pretty serious. Funny, witty book? Drop hints of that in the query.

Of course, no "query" blogpost would be complete without an example query, so for all the curious ones, here you go, two in fact!

This is the one I sent as part of my pitchwars sub:

Having snored through all her imperial lessons, seventeen-year-old princess Hesperia wouldn’t really know why the Ostian people loathe the seers and the magicians. Neither does she care to learn, not when she’d rather spend time in the imperial gardens, her one and only sanctuary.

Until the day she stumbles upon the king’s body in a bed of nightflowers.

With her father entombed in jade, her mother ill from grief, and her brother called away to tend to an impending war, Hesperia sacrifices her freedom to fill the empty throne. As queen, she vows to uncover the truth behind the death as one last gift to her honest father. But when the healers insist on calling the king’s passing a verdict of the gods, Hesperia realizes that the power of a crown may not be enough. 

Consulting a seer would result in death by a thousand cuts, yet Hesperia risks paying the price to secure an investigation and trial. The court, however manipulates the trial, framing enemies of the Ost as the king’s killer—enemies such as the seers and magicians. Hesperia must stay one step ahead of the schemes or watch the trial spiral into a tangle of prejudice and propaganda. She must protect her own secrets, craft her lies carefully, or lose her life. That is, if the truth behind her father’s death doesn’t destroy her first. 

At 96k, HESPERIA is a YA fantasy inspired by the social issues raised in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD and the palace intrigue in THE WINNER'S CRIME. It is set in a world that is a cross between ancient Rome and China.

My family is Chinese and I've grown up knowing the great epics and popular legends of the culture. This had helped me craft the China-influenced setting as accurately as possible. When I am not writing, I am studying Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. 

Thank you for your time and consideration!

And then this is the one I sent in my queries to agents post-PW, after my mentor and I polished it up:

As Princess of the Ost, seventeen-year-old Hesperia should be attending the blood trials with her family, not hiding from her maids in the watersilk ponds. But when she discovers her father’s body in a bed of nightflowers, she’s faced with a trial of her own: uncover the truth behind his death, or watch it go down in the scrolls as the verdict of the gods.

With her mother ill and her brother leading the army, Hesperia risks her life when she consorts with a forbidden seer to secure an investigation as a final gift to her beloved father. The war-hungry court manipulates the trial, however, framing the seers and magicians who have begun to re-emerge centuries after they were purged. With the help of a legendary assassin and her adopted brother and sister, Hesperia struggles to stay one step ahead of the court officials as the trial spirals into a tangle of prejudice and propaganda.

Now, Hesperia faces betrayal at every turn: from a neighboring country that seeks to use the seers and magicians for its own selfish aims, and from the only family she has left. With whispers of revolution simmering in the shadows, she must eradicate the cycle of persecution—or become its next victim. 

At 88k, HESPERIA is a YA fantasy inspired by the social issues raised in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD and the palace intrigue in THE WINNER'S CRIME. It is set in a world that is a cross between ancient Rome and China.

As a Chinese American, I've grown up with many of the great Chinese epics and popular legends, which helped inspire the setting for HESPERIA. In addition to writing, drawing, and baking, I am a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania majoring in Psychology. I am a 2015 Pitch Wars finalist mentored by Mara Rutherford. 

So there you have it! Hopefully this before and after is helpful in giving you a sense of the quality of query that sparked interest among mentors and got me several requests for more materials, but as you can tell, there was room for changes and improvement! So don't fret too much about every single word of your query - it needs to demonstrate strong writing and do your story justice, but it's likely to change once you have a mentor.

Stay tuned for the next post on the first chapter!

Pitchwars 101: An Overview

If you're anything like me, you stay on the fence about everything until the very last possible minute. This series of short, last minute posts will hopefully be helpful to anyone still unsure about the contest itself, the query, the first chapter, and the synopsis. 

• Everyone's experience is different. I know people who worked with their mentors to rewrite their book in the two month period. I know people who only had to line-edit. There really is a spectrum for everything--the amount of revision, your closeness with your mentor, etc. For example, Mara and I were close (and we remained friends and CP's long after the contest) but I'm sure there were other mentees and mentors who were "closer" in the sense that they emailed each other every single day, gif-warred on twitter, etc. It worked out that I tend to retreat when I write and revise, so Mara and I mostly checked in every week or so. I turned in my materials on time, and Mara read them and gave comments promptly. So if you enter Pitchwars, just remember that no mentee-mentor relationship is exactly the same. That's part of the magic--the experience is really what you and your mentor decide to make it.
  
• I've been in some other contests before, and I have to say that the Pitchwars community is unparalleled. Maybe it's because it's less of a contest and more of a process, and you're in it for 2+ months, but your fellow mentees will become your people even if you are the most introverted, awkward, shy person ever (Exhibit A: me).
  
• The two months will pass really quickly. I was in school while revision round was happening, and before I knew it, August had become the end of October, and Agent Round was just around the corner. For some, these two months will be utterly crazy. I mostly was editing to up the tension and pacing in the first 50 or so pages, so it wasn't overly intense, but juggling assignments and exams was still a pain. Buy yourself a planner if you don't have one already--it will become your best friend.
  
• The agent round is stressful for everyone, whether you're in the tons-of-requests club, the Zero-Request-Club, or somewhere in between. There's really no way to get around the stress, so make sure you fill up your day with positive things, people, and activities.
  
• After the contest, people's paths will start to diverge. Some will get immediate offers of representation out of the Agent round, which will lead into immediate book deals. Some will get immediate offers, but fail to get that immediate book deal. Some will land great agents at great agencies months after the contest. And some will ultimately move on and write another book, and try the whole process all over again. Some, like me, will be in the middle (I got my agent about 2 months after the end of the contest, right around the holiday season, and...I am currently rewriting my PW book). There really are infinite permutations of where your writing road might turn post-PW, and as long as you keep that in mind, it won't feel like you're being left behind.
  
• If you don't get into the contest, just remember this: there are two main factors involved in whether or not someone gets picked: quality and luck. Quality means the quality of your submission materials. If you've had multiple eyes on your first chapter, query, and synopsis, and you know that objectively they are as good as you could have gotten them, then it boils down to luck. Did you submit to the "right" mentors? Did your mentors get a lot of submissions in your genre, or few? Did you not submit to the "right" mentors, but did that kind person pass you on to someone he/she thought would be a better fit? I was a case where I had not submitted to Mara, and some super amazing mentor whom I had submitted to passed me along because Mara wanted some more fantasy subs. So all the pieces aligned for me, luckily. But constantly, I imagine if I hadn't been passed onto to Mara. There's a very likely chance I wouldn't have made it into Pitchwars. Or maybe I would have. No one knows. 

So there we have it, very brief overview of what PW is like, based on my experiences from last year. If you have any questions, comment below, or find me on twitter. Stay tuned for a brief post on the query portion of your submission!

Diversity in YA: Culture is More Than Character

This has been a post I've been wanting to write for a while now but have refrained from doing so because I'm not always the best at articulating my thoughts, and I have a lot of thoughts on this.

But with #DVpit and the push for diverse voices in YA literature (and all kinds of literature, though I can only really speak for YA because that's what I write and read), I realized I should attempt this post.

So bear with me here. I'll try not to ramble.

Culture is more than character. By this I mean that in order to write a culture effectively, it's not only necessary to make sure you get the character right (character = looks, values, mannerisms, etc., basically anything embodied in the individual) but that you also consider the way you are telling the story.

Because culture manifests on a far bigger scale than the individual.

Each culture has its unique forms of story-telling. Look at all the various types of story-telling that exist in some of the East Asian countries alone. Light novels, anime, and manga make up huge sectors of the entertainment market in Japan. The popularity of Korean dramas crosses continental divides. Web-novels have become increasingly prominent in China--some, such as the acclaimed Lang Ya Bang, have been adapted into big-budget dramas (and viewership of this drama is equal to that of Game of Thrones.)

Here's the thing: I can't just pick up any YA novel, animate it/turn it into a graphic novel, and call it an anime/a manga. Simple elements that we often know to be universal to storytelling--inciting incident, turning-points, plot arcs--are not actually as universal as they seem. Yes, almost every story has these elements. But how they are handled and presented, how they are written, are often times dependent on culture. Smaller things such as tropes and cliches are not universal, either. What is cliche in one culture's story-telling medium is not necessarily cliche in another's. Tropes (and subversions of tropes) are tied to culture. You cannot separate the manner in which a story is presented from the culture.

I write this because when I write my culture, I don't stop at the character level. The way I plot and the way I construct elements of a culturally influenced story is, well, culturally influenced. And sometimes, this means that the resulting story breaks some conventions of the YA market. But I write this way because it's the only way I can convey my culture on all the levels it deserves.

I admire all different kinds of YA novels. But I also admire other kinds of story-telling. Now, maybe you believe that books should only be comped to books. But people in the book world and industry understand movie comps. (e.g. Six of Crows being comped to Ocean's Eleven). I really hope one day, as this world becomes more an more multicultural and accepting of all different kinds of voices, that people will also come to understand comps of different story-telling mediums and of different cultures.

And mostly, I hope that as the need for culturally diverse works spreads, I'll read not just about culturally influenced characters who live in the culture of YA storytelling, but culturally influenced characters who live in culturally influenced worlds and plots.

I'd love to hear from you guys. Let me know if you have any thoughts on this, or share your experience writing something culturally influenced!

Book Review: The Winner's Trilogy

Safe to say that I don't often write reviews, mostly because not enough time.

BUT, the conclusion of a favorite series is a monumental thing.

THE WINNER'S TRILOGY

by Marie Rutkoski

Summary of Book I, Book II, Book III
Order Book I, Book II, Book III

Spoiler Free Review

This series just works on so many levels. Here I break down why:

The Characters

You won't find run of the mill characters in this trilogy. No tropes, no cliches. Instead you have characters who complement each other PERFECTLY. They were meant to be in these books, meant to be in their roles. Everything is so purposefully drawn. Specifically, our two leads weren't just chosen because they were intriguing on their own. So often this is the case, and yet it results in relationships lacking chemistry. Arin and Kestrel make so much sense as a pair. They are so similar, yet so different. What works so well is that they are equals in so many ways, and yet by the constructs of society, they are in very different places at the start of the series. The most beautiful journey is watching them slowly overcome their differences in initial positions and rediscovering the people they are innately, and reconciling how they have changed by the end of the journey. Secondary characters are also very nuanced and compelling.

The Writing

Second to plot (because I like to predict all the things), writing is probably what I'm most critical of, just because I admire good writing so much and am always striving to improve my own. The thing about good writing is that it's never too showy. It should never overtake the story. It serves. It's all too easy to forget this. Even now, when I read through my own drafts, I find lines that make me frown and think huh...I have a feeling that I just wrote that to be pretty.

Now, when you have the writing prowess of Marie, it's tempting to just fill a book of pretty writing that doesn't always serve the characters and the story. But these books don't fall into that trap. The writing and the story serve each other equally. Neither overpowers the other. You have scenes where the emotions and story need to take front and center. In those cases the writing does its job beautifully but knows not to overextend itself. Then you have quieter moments where the book gets more contemplative and emotional, and the writing knows that it's its time to shine. The balance of all things is handled so well.

Also, if you have trouble thinking of a mean metaphor, read this series. Oh my goodness, this series is loaded with the MOST BEAUTIFUL OF METAPHORS EVER.

The Plot

This is one of those rare times when for once I wasn't trying to out-think the author and predict all the twists. When there are twists, they are the sort that reside in the deepest part of your gut, the ones that you subconsciously aware of, as if you're watching this horror and with each second you KNOW something terrible is going to come, but the magic is you cannot look away. you absolutely cannot. You feel your helplessness - it's mirrored in the characters themselves - and Marie is a master at using that to drive the story forward.

Final Thoughts

Everything was handled so deftly, with so much care and honesty.

Something that my mom pointed out (because she's a fan of the books too) is that she could tell that the author had deep knowledge of the classics. I know what she means. The Winner's Trilogy is like a fine dark chocolate - it's not the initial burst of sweetness that knocks you off your feet, but rather slow unraveling of flavors and the series reveals its many layers. These books are the types that are worth reading and rereading over and over again, because there's always another shade of emotion to be discovered and another turn of phrase to be savored.

So there you have it. An extremely gushy/vague review (didn't want to spoil anything).

tldr; read The Winner's Trilogy. Do it, and then come back here to fangirl with me.

Self-Compassion Series: A Decompression Guide

The title says it all. For more context, I recently tweeted that I didn't get a chance to decompress over Spring Break, and so I'm trying to do that now. I'm a semi-workaholic ("semi" because I usually don't care at all about the things I'm not passionate about) and sometimes it's hard to remember to take some time to reengage with other passions.

Usual disclaimer: This is a list of things that work for me - yours will probably look different. I find the act of writing out the list helpful in reaffirming that I should do some of these things, so you might find it helpful to write out yours too.

THE GUIDE

1. Pleasure-read. This can be CPing, but often times for me, since I feel obligated to give any MS I'm CPing serious thought and digestion, I don't consider CPing pleasure reading. 

2. Go to a cozy cafe and eat + drink delicious things.

3. Combination of the above: read at your favorite cafe.

4. Catch up on sleep.

5. Exercise.

6. Take nice, long walks that don't really do anything significant for your cardiovascular health but are really good for you nonetheless.

7. Retail therapy.

8. Go out to dinner.

9. Watch a movie.

10. Engage in other forms of story-consumption - read fanfiction, read manga, watch anime, watch TV shows. 

11. If you have a pet, hug it.

12. If you're an extrovert - go be social.

13. If you're an introvert...try being social, unless it stresses you out, in which case hermit away.

14. Clean your living/working space.

15. Wash the pillowcases, sheets, and blankets.

16. Stay in your newly-cleaned bed all day.

17. Bake.

18. Cook.

19. Share your baking and cooking with someone special.

20. Be okay with doing "nothing". This is honestly the hardest one for me. It's okay to be unproductive. It's all about the balance. 

What are some things that you do to decompress? 

Writing in College

Been meaning to write this post, and since it's the end of my spring break, I thought I'd get it up! From the title, you'll know that I'm going to get down to the truth of how I make time to write in college.

For a similar reads, here are some general tips I gave in a pervious post: 3 tips on juggling writing and school

A lot of writers are faced with the sentiment: "oh, I wish I had that much time to write!" And while the frustration writers feel in response is usually universal, everyone has a different way of making the time. Some carve out sacred hours. Some save the writing for weekends. For me, and for many others most likely, it's all about leading that double life.

STUDENT AND WRITER

I do decently in school, which fools people into thinking that I'm a massive try-hard (e.g. I was nominated for the "most likely to study for the SATs after the SATs" superlative senior year of high school, which was totally untrue--until I accepted the job to tutor SATs and then yes, I did have to study for the SATs three years after taking them -___-).

The truth is, I don't actually give school my all. I procrastinate. I cut corners by studying "just enough", whatever that means to whomever. I have a fantastic short-term memory which, to the dismay of my mom who would really like me to master Chinese, means that I excel at taking vocab quizzes by cramming the characters and forget them shortly afterwards.

But the aforementioned things alone do not "make" the time, especially since I am possibly one of the slowest writers I know. Instead, I've had to make decisions, most easy, but some harder.

I would be as busy as any other undergraduate if not for the following choices:

DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying that these are good or bad choices. These are simply choices that work for me.

• I'm majoring in psychology, which isn't a walk in the park, but plays toward my strengths of being able to read and memorize, meaning that I can be more efficient in learning the material, meaning that I have more time to write. 
• I'm not minoring, because I'd rather take a random assortment of classes for the pure sake of interest than fulfilling more required credits. This allows me to broaden my knowledge base and dabble in many things, which makes for inspiration, and also allows me more time. 
• I take 4 classes each semester, which is 1 class fewer than the average load of 5. 
• I participate in one club.
• (and this one I hesitate to list because it's not an active choice...for the most part). I have no social life. A lot of people say this, but I say this and live this. I've never been to a single party even though I'm at a college with a "work hard, play hard" philosophy. I rarely hang out in person with friends. By nature, I am a super-introvert, and I like to hermit, so as I've said, it's mostly personal preference.

Am I sacrificing a bit of my college experience? Yes. Am I taking risks? Yes. Though I keep in contact with the the close ones, I might have fewer friends than the average fresh-out-of-college student at graduation. Minors might become all the rage, and I might not be able to find a job without one. Psychology isn't exactly the easiest field to find a career in, especially without a higher degree. 

But I take these risks. I've taken them before.

BEFORE

Before I lived the double life of student and writer, I lived the double life of student and artist. Looking back on the years (age 7-14), those "sacrifices" weren't as big as I made them out to be (Weekends spent in the studio. Weekdays spent in the studio. Competitions entered, competitions lost. Less time for playdates, more time spent staring at nude models, which is always a fun conversation topic now, but wasn't something I could casually bring up back in middle school). But they hurt as a kid. And I ultimately "quit" art (stepped off the professional track) because I was neither mature enough to understand why things had to be less than fun sometimes NOR (and this is key) passionate enough about art. 

NOW

I'm grateful that I experienced those previous years, because they've taught me that if you have a dream that you are passionate about, you have to give it your all, embracing both the bits that are fun and the bits that kind of suck, but are worth it in the long run.

If you're also leading the life of a writer and something else, I'd love to know what choices you've made in order to juggle both! 

Self-Compassion Series: Discipline vs Flexilibility

This past semester, I took a course in Positive Psychology. The lesson on self-compassion really struck home for me because I'm very self-critical and I realized just how little compassion I have for myself and my "failures". I know that I'm not alone, and that other writers also struggle to be more compassionate toward their short-comings. Through this series, I hope to share some tips and daily-reminders, and to document my own attempts at becoming more self-compassionate. 

DISCIPLINE vs FLEXIBILITY

I rolled out of bed at 7:15 AM today. That might be early for some and late for others. For me, it's quite early, considering that I'm on winter break and supposed to be catching up on sleep before the new semester starts. But this year, instead of lounging about, gaining weight, and watching random things, I set a goal to finish my chess WIP (read about here) before school starts up again on January 13th. Hence, the 7:15 alarms and subway rides, the trek to the Starbucks on campus in 30 degree weather (sometimes, I realize how sad my choice of writing nook is), and the trek back at 5PM.

It's good to be disciplined. Doing this every day for the last two weeks has only reminded me of why my dream job (someday!) is to be a full-time writer and author. And even though it can be hard at times, looking at the 3k I wrote (yes, I'm slow) is much more rewarding at the end of the day than checking to see how many episodes of anime I've binged on. Discipline has allowed me to get ever so close to the end of the WIP. It's in sight, and I'm so excited for the day I get to call this my 5th finished manuscript.

Today, however, I hit a wall. Not at first. When I rolled out of bed, I knew I was tired. But I figured I could just muscle through the sluggishness with a cup of coffee. I made the trek. I typed away at a new coffee shop (the Starbucks on campus is under renovations). It was cold. My eyes were dry. I felt hungry but also strangely not hungry. I continued to chug on in the name of discipline, and other things (I'd just bought a $2 black coffee in order to justify my hogging a seat for the next 6 or so hours; I'd only spent three hours here; if I moved now, I would ruin my writing mojo for the day).

I finished a chapter, and then my mind drew a blank.

At that point, I should have listened to what my body was trying to tell me--which was to go home, take a hot shower, eat something delicious, and spend some me-time. There was nothing unreasonable about doing any of those things. Instead, I plugged on. Or tried to.

It took thirty minutes of feeling miserable and not being productive at all for me listened to my body. I went home. I'm typing this now, from home, and after I post it, I'll be taking the hot shower I need. And despite feeling guilty at the coffee shop while I considered going home, I'm no longer guilty. I'm remembering the importance of tempering discipline with flexibility. Listen to your body. If you need a day off, take it. If you need a change of location, make the move. Many writers (and artists of all types) I know are so incredibly disciplined, which is good for finishing WIPs and sending books in by the deadlines, but if you remember to switch some things up, you'll avoid burning out in the long run.