October: Pitch Wars and a month in review

Many a time during October, I imagined myself writing this post. How triumphant I would feel, knowing that I had survived.

And now I finally get to write it! Albeit sick. But I have my tumbler of warm liquids close by and fuzzy socks on, so it's not too bad. 

So if you've read this post, then you know that October was off the crazy charts. I was college counseling three students who are not native English speakers. I had to comprehensively + line-edit all their essays. It was fun but, as you can probably imagine, quite a bit of work. I also had college going on the in background, and the usual onslaught of readings and exams.

And then I had Pitch Wars.

I've heard about various revision experiences, from getting a few line edits to changing the POV entirely to tearing out sections and rewriting. I'll be upfront and say that I did not have to rewrite my book, and so I guess I could have had it worse in terms of work-load. My biggest/hardest edit was increasing the tension and pacing in the beginning.  

At the same time, I am a notoriously slow reviser. First, I take a lot of time to mull over solutions. Then I take a lot of time to implement them because I mull over word choice and other nit-gritty things like that. I am also a slower drafter. Basically, I am slow at everything.

So despite the comparatively "smaller" revision, I ended up slaving over it. 

Going into October, I realized that I had all of this on my plate. And since I like placing a lot of stress on myself, I resolved that I would not let anything slide. I would give my kids all the counseling that they needed. I would get the grades I wanted. I would complete PW to my satisfaction.

And now I'm glad to say that I kept my promise to myself!

(With the exception of one exam that I'm pretty sure I did not do so hot on, but that was an early November exam, so not officially part of the October crazies).

I think the key to staying somewhat sane (the bf would argue otherwise and say that I was not sane at all) is to remember to do the little things. For example, I rarely paint my nails during the summer, but come fall and winter, there's just something satisfying about having nice nails to go with my sweaters. So despite not having that much time, I tried to take a little time for myself every other week to paint my nails. I even got some new Essie colors to inspire me!

That might sound like something really small, and I agree it was. I had to give up some bigger things. My fall break is one example. While my roommates from Texas and New Jersey all left to go home for their fall break, I stayed at my dorm for the majority of it even though I live twenty minutes away. I decided to use that quiet time to work on revisions, and I'm glad to say that I got a lot done during those days! When everyone returned, refreshed, I was anything but refreshed, but sometimes you can't have everything (even I recognize that). 

But the thing about giving things up to accomplish something is to make sure that you then celebrate your accomplishment. I fall victim to getting swept into the frenzy of everything and not truly savoring my accomplishments. This time I was determined so carve out some time and not fall into that habit. 

So three of my good friends and I went to Linvilla Orchards for apple picking. This is the place that I used to go to for my birthday as a kid. It's been years since I last went. 

I actually didn't end up picking/buying any apples, but it was still incredibly fun. We all went out to dinner afterwards, and then I splurged on some fancy tea. 

In the end, was it a rough month? Yes, it was. Probably the roughest month of all time. But was it worth it? Yes, a thousand times.

And I couldn't have done it without the support of all the various people in my life. Thank you to:

- My parents, who realized that I wasn't eating as well as I should have. My mom, who works close to my college campus, took me out to lunch many a time during the month. She also read through the first 50 of HESPERIA again when I asked her to evaluate the changes. 

- My CP's Molly, Laura, Anne, and Deb. Some of you have read HESPERIA as I was writing it, some have read later drafts, but no matter what time of the MS I found you at, you have all helped it grow so much. 

- My fellow writer friends who have been so supportive on fb and twitter.

- My biffles Sean and Cindy, who remind me to have fun even when I'm all grumpy and convinced that there is no time for fun. 

- The Pitch Wars mentee community. You guys are the bomb. I'm neither the most social person ever nor the person who posts the wittiest and funniest posts, and so sometimes I find fb groups intimidating, but I'm so, so glad that this community is one that I feel like I'll turn to for a longgggg time. Thanks for all the hugfests, guys :)

- My mentor Mara, who literally opened this golden door of opportunity for me. Her fierce championing of the manuscript still blows me away sometimes, and I still have to pinch myself to believe it's real. Without her, this post wouldn't exist. Without her, I wouldn't have had the chance to go on this journey of my life. So thank you. Thank you.

- And lastly, the bf I've mentioned before. He's worn many hats for me--beta reader, idea brainstormer, restaurant exploring partner, cheerleader, and best hug-giver. We just celebrated 1.5 years together today, so he's really had a chance to see all the scary that is involved in the journey of a writer seeking publication.

Luckily, I haven't scared him away yet :D

How was your October?

A Short Post of Updates and One Big Congratulations

For once, I actually have a clear idea of what posts I need to write for this blog in the coming weeks. I also have a slew of things I need to do before I leave for Taiwan on the 4th of June (eeep!), which is sort of annoying because I want to write those posts!

To give you a heads up, here's what's coming: 

• I'm changing the blog name and the blog URL for reasons that I will mention in a post. This will most likely happen after the Writer's Voice contest. I know this will cause some confusion at first, especially if you're subscribed to me by email (I've read that you might have to subscribe again, but to the new URL) but bear with me and hopefully I won't lose any of you. 
• I am currently querying Hesperia, and you know what that means: new novel time! Drafting! I have a series of posts planned on my drafting process because I definitely feel like this blog needs one. 
• Expect *maybe* a post detailing my attempts at writing on the 15+ hour plane ride and my traveling essentials for writing stuffs. The *maybe* is there because I haven't traveled overseas for...four years? and there is a very real possibility I will lose all my baggage board the wrong flight set off the metal detector screw up somewhere and be unable to deliver the post. Sacrifice some offering to the cat gods for me please.

And now to the part of the post I've been itching to write*...

My biggest congratulations goes to Carissa (you should totally check out her blog because it has some really cool features and helpful tools for writers, but mostly because she's just awesome all around) FOR SIGNING WITH AN AGENT. Yes, signing with an agent is only one milestone in the long road to publication, but still, I am seriously SO EXCITED for her. About two years ago I read some of her first novel, and the writing absolutely hooked me. Everyone should watch out for her as the next big thing. 

*If you've followed me for some time, you'll see that I've done some similar posts of this sort (e.g. cover reveals and pub day posts). While there aren't that many, writing one always makes me sort of sentimental. I've been on the road of seriously pursuing publication for over three years now, which is not that long of time comparatively. Yet I've experienced the highs and lows, and I feel a lot of empathy with everyone on the same path as I. To see other writers whom I respect and admire attain what they deserve is so rewarding. I'm very lucky to be able to celebrate with them.  

On contests

part I out of II

This entry was inspired by a post by the lovely Storm Owl. You can check it out (and the rest of her blog) here. 

I recently surprised myself by entering two pitch contests (Nestpitch and Pitchslam). Why? Because I'm always a pessimist when it comes to contests--all contests, not just writing ones.

I'm not a competitive person. I never liked applying for scholarships, internships, or anything where the chances of receiving something are low because you have a thousand other people, just as qualified as you, vying for your spot. I convince myself that the statistics are against me, and that I might as well not compete. After all, there are other methods of getting to places, methods that don't require contests.

However, being pessimistic also helps sometimes, for me at least. As in when I do enter, I have zero expectations. Obviously they'll rise every now and then, but I'm quick to squash them.

I was been extremely fortunate to be chosen as a finalist in Pitchslam, and even more fortunate for HESPERIA, my YA fantasy, to garner some interest from agents.

But the key is here is fortunate. Because I know what I'm going up against when it comes to pitch contests. I'll generalize and say that writers are really hard-working, smart, motivated people, and they make for fierce competition. They're cognizant of the market, able to whip out some super high-concept, hooky premises and even hookier pitches, no matter the length.

Generally speaking, a lot of writers' first pages rock.

Which is why I was nervous entering the ring with HESPERIA. Having written my own share of gripping (or my attempts at) first pages, I knew where HESPERIA would be at a disadvantage.

Voice: Hesperia herself as a character is more subtle. Her voice is naturally muted, suppressed by the years she's been groomed to become queen.

Pacing/Action/Intrigue: She's running from the imperial maids. No one has died yet, no wars have broken out. No one mysterious or dangerous has appeared. Hesperia's actions could easily be interpreted as frolicking through the gardens.

Pitch: My comp titles (which weren't even included) are TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD meets GAME OF THRONES. Needless to say, the two don't exactly seem to mesh that well together at first glance and can leave the reader scratching her head. When it comes down to it, it's hard to package HESPERIA into a neat bundle of 35 words without stripping it down to its barest of bones and leaving stuff out--a lot of stuff out.

Do these things make HESPERIA a bad novel? No. The novel is certainly not perfect, but it accomplished my writer's vision and does what it needs to do.

The aforementioned things do not at all make HESPERIA a bad novel.

They DO, however, make it a harder novel to do well with in contests.

There will always be the manuscripts that are made for contests, just by nature of the premise, genre, characters, voice, etc. Granted, they may need some rewrites. They may need new beginnings. But at their cores, they can be contest-ready with some polish and shine.

Then there are the other manuscripts, the ones that aren't as photogenic in contests.

To clarify, I don't mean that these manuscripts will flounder and fail. First off, many are brilliant. Many of them will actually make it to the final rounds--I've seen it. But they require more work. Whatever the reason may be--bad timing, oversaturated genre, not as relatable characters--they are not as cooperative when you as a writer are trying to fit them into their best suits and dresses.

At that point, you have two choices. You can always (and I mean always) whip your manuscript into spectacular contest shape with the work. But sometimes, this may call for you to adjust your authorial vision. You might have to relinquish bits and pieces that you love. For example, you and your CP might love your first page, but it's not really doing its job in contests.

Do you change it? If you do, the contest-version first page might not necessarily be better that the first. It'll be better for contests and for the competitive contest atmosphere.

To sum up, always remember that "better" is relative once you've already poured the tears and sweat over your novel. You can't make everyone happy. Certain types of novels absolutely bask in contests and in front of audiences. And other types of novels are just as good but will fare better through different channels of achieving an agent/publication.

Have you ever had a novel that you worked hard on and personally loved, but didn't end up resonating with others?

When it all gets to be a bit too much

If you haven't noticed by now, I've sort of died.

My best friend of 12+ years knows that my biggest (and probably most annoying) flaw is hermitting. Yes, hermitting. It's similar to taking some time off to focus on "me-time", but sometimes that "me-time" stretches into months.

The writing community is awesome. But for one week last year, after feeling down about a past MS that I shelved and a new MS that my CP's loved but that I personally did not feel like was quite ready, I took a break. I told myself I just needed to get off the internet, stop checking my emails for query responses, stop blogging. I needed to clear my mind.

And that week turned into months. Months have turned into nearly a year.

I know, it's horrible.

Of course, there were other factors that went into the unexpectedly long break. College was becoming something very real and I could no longer think about it in an abstract way (oh my god, I got into college! Time to get senioritis). I reconciled with the fact that I was one step closer to having to deal with the "real world," and that my choices and actions for the next few years would ultimately decide if writing would remain a hobby or evolve to become something more.

My family also moved. We packed all our things from our house of twelve years and trucked them into a new house (or condo, for the sake of specificity). While it was by no means an across the country (or seas) move, people who know me know that I am absolutely horrible when it comes to adapting to change. The move went smoothly. I did erupt into hives. I did feel a weird emptiness inside of me. But yes, overall, it was a smooth move.

I also got into my first serious relationship. I've heard people talk about baby-brain, but relationship brain is a thing. I had always run into the occasional writers block, but this time I faced the worst creative low in my life. Sometime, I'll write a post on this. Anyway, while the relationship was (and still is!) awesome, I felt ashamed of the fact that it was sapping my writing motivation. I kept on trying to tell myself that if I could just gather the willpower, I COULD and WOULD write.

I failed miserably.

Lastly, however, was just fear. I felt bad about my writing. I felt bad about not seeing any results yet. I have a strong belief that anyone who starts writing young can't help but dream of being published young. I was no exception. And while I hadn't exactly shelved 3210321 novels, ILWF was doing worse than INGENICIDE in the query trenches, which was devastating since my CP's had vouched for it.

To give you a clearer picture, I sent out 80 queries for INGENICIDE. That number dropped to 30 for ILWF. I was scared, so, so scared of raking up rejections that I simply decided to put myself out there less to the number of closed doors.

Finishing my YA Fantasy WIP, HESPERIA, during this time was torturous. The words wouldn't come out, and what words did end up coming out did not sound right. I began to think that I not only could not gather the motivation to write anymore, but that I had become a worse writer.

I started video gaming. It was a hobby that both my boyfriend and I could share, and I met some new friends this way. But in truth, it was more than a hobby. It was something to fill the writing void, and I knew it.

I continued to hermit. I eventually reengaged with the writing community by stalking all my favorite writers' blogs. But I couldn't bring myself to comment or say anything. I admired the writing community from afar but no longer felt as if I could be a part of it. Everyone else seemed to be able to write despite having their own respective challenges and problems. I couldn't.

I know this post sounds really depressing,  but I promise you it isn't. Because going through this "dark period" in writing, I've learned something extremely valuable.

I will always write. Always. Because be it a month or a year, I always come back to my scrivener docs. And I can't help but write.

So I'm back. After a year of being dead, I'm back.

When it all gets to be a bit too much, do what you need to do. Whether that is take a break, go out for some air, find another hobby. Hermit if you need to. As I've told a friend countless of times, don't worry about whether or not you've made the right decision while you're taking that break. The answer will come to you. You'll know it one of two ways:

A. You're just immensely happier on your break (this was me with competitive running).
B. You'll be happy at first but the happiness won't last and you'll just know that something is missing from your life. When that feeling comes, you will know.

I knew that competitive running was not something I wanted to do for an extended period of my life. The stint in high school happened, and while it is not an experience I regret, I realize that the stress outweighed the happiness I got from it. For writing, however, I fall into category B, and I would have wanted nothing else. I am glad to be back, and I hope you will all receive me again.

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop

PART 1

SHOUT OUT to my CP, the lovely Deborah Kreiser, for tagging me in this post! If you've read my WIP page, then there is some crossing over, but keep on reading for other goodies.

What is the working title of your book?
INGENICIDE. It used to be called THE ORDOCIDE, but I realized I had a problem when I kept on getting tongue twisted and saying THE ODORCIDE instead. Good rule of thumb for titles: make sure you as an author have no trouble pronouncing the title :D

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
16 year-old Space Manipulator Sibyl Kenschild has only been trained to design the best rooms, but when discontent Normals start massacring the prodigies, she'll have to pull all tricks to survive.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Agency or die. Just kidding :) But I really am aiming for getting an agent. Probably agency or shelving for now.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
I wrote the first chapter in November (didn't do Nanowrimo though because I found that I actually need to take my time to write or else I get a complete, rewrite-worthy mess that it still too daunting for me to handle. Then from November to the end of February I wrote sporadically (I am in a period of my life when I have many high stakes to juggle), finishing after four months with 60k. I know, not impressive :(

What genre does your book fall under?
YA...I really want to call it a socio-political adventure but HAH, there's no such genre. I guess...sci-fi? With the lightest touch of dystopian?

Where did the idea come from for the book?
Many things! I will list them because without lists I am one of the most scatterbrained people you will ever meet.
1. MS #1- I refer to my first novel frequently because I've learned so much from it from all the things that did not work. My writer friends used to always say that I was great at writing description, but never did they comment on my action scenes. I don't blame them--I had no action scenes. Um, MS #1 didn't really have a conflict. Once I got over the grief of shoving it onto the back burner, I told myself that I would surprise myself and my reader buddies. I would write the inciting incident in the very first chapter, keep a tight grip on the pacing, and refrain from describing unnecessary details.
2. My Own Life- Yuck, right? I know, real life is often very boring in comparison to the infinite boundaries of the fiction world (check out my post on Real Life in Fiction). Because of that, you should never be afraid to write what you don't know VICE VERSA you should never confine yourself only to the subjects that you DO know. At the same time, there will always be something magical about the writing that flows out of you when you are writing about a subject that you are familiar with, even if it is just a related emotion or a sensation. For example. I'd basically trained since the age of six to become a professional artist. I drew about 1,000 pencil sketch eggs and many more color studies. I won a national gold for a larger drawing:

My parents spent a lot of time driving me to and from art class. I reckon I spent most of my odd childhood focused on this one skill. Then, high school hit, and I suddenly realized that I loved art, but I didn't LOVE art. I didn't love it enough to actually pursue it as a profession, to take daunting risks, to potentially starve. And for a job such as professional art, you really do need to love it. Otherwise, you will have no fuel for your mad creativity. Anyway, when this epiphany hit, my world turned up-side down. Suddenly, I felt aimless. I felt as if I have wasted so many years and the hopes of my parents. I wondered if there was something wrong with me--maybe I was just hitting a "wall". Maybe this was the hurdle I had to pass in order to unlock my full potential. Maybe I was just being a typical teen, wanted to break out of the path that had been drawn for me and explore. Whatever the reason, I felt like I had failed, and that feeling sometimes still chases me to this day. I keep asking myself: Is it right for me to waste a talent by not seeing it to the very end? So I took this element of "prodigy" and decided to weave it into the core of my story.

That's it for PART 1 of the post (I spewed a bit so I'm breaking it up into 2 parts to make the reading more manageable :D).  One of the best things about the writing community is that everyone is united against the forces of rejection/editing/drafting/writer's block/fill-in-your-choice-of-poison that we all look out for each other. So thank you Deb again for tagging me in this blog hop. Now I pass on the goblet! Go check out these whimsically fantastic writers and I will tell you "I told you so" when they become the next big thing:

Elyse Guziewicz
Avon

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR PART 2--CASTING AND MORE!